Serving those who are responding to God’s call to love.

Already Up to Something

The first official day of School of Evangelism was yesterday. We had introductions, that probably took longer than needed, and we had some orientation to the school but mostly it was about the Base and what is expected here at the Base.

As some of you know, I arrived a bit early… Friday afternoon. I thought I was the first one here but it turned out that there was a girl here from Norway already! She had arrived late Wednesday night. She and I really hit it off. Her name is Lovise (Lo-vi-sa), she’s my age, and she did her DTS in Norway and a School of Worship last fall here in Tyler. We are in separate rooms in the girls dorm and the other girls that are in our rooms had all just completed their DTS together so they already have a tight bond together, so I’m praising God that Lovise is here and that we clicked. But I know that God can still bring us all in unity. The other girls are super sweet and I am excited to get to know them!!

Yesterday morning was Base Worship and Prayer. God revealed more than I was expecting that he would already. The leader prayed that if anyone is feeling fearful or hesitant that they would break down their walls and let God more. Turns out, I am being fearful and hesitant. I thought that I was healed and over my attack but I am not. I’m actually terrified what God has for me here. I feel tainted because the last time I was really, really close with God and trusting him, I got attacked and that hurt and destroyed me. I don’t want to view God as a “bad God” or as a God that hurts his children or anything negative, because I know that he isn’t. I have to fight these negative thoughts and fully trust God again with everything. I know that it would be tomorrow or maybe next week, it’s going to be a process because it’s a lot of hurt, but I think that is why God is starting that work in my life and in my heart Day 1.

He’s not wasting any time with me.

Another thing that God is teaching me is how I need to “die to myself’. Before finding out our Base Work Duties, I was really hoping to get childcare or hospitality again like in Mazatlan because I really grew to enjoy those things. My mind was already made up on skipping breakfast every morning so that I had more time to sleep and get ready for the day. I have banana’s and oatmeal in my drawers so I wasn’t going to starve myself! But out of all the things I could have gotten and the one thing that I did get was…. Breakfast Duty. That means I have to wake up at 5 / 5:30 a.m.  to be in the kitchen at 6 and work until 8. My heart sunk a little hearing that… But instead of getting upset because it is not something that I wanted, I looked to God and said, “Alright Bud, no break for me. First you send me to Texas and now Breakfast duty… what are you trying to teach me??” As much as it was a rhetorical question, there was some truth in it. I really do want to know what God is going to show me in this time, and how he is going to grow and strengthen me.

As I close this blog, I just want to ask for prayers in this time. Realizing that I have hesitations and fears with God didn’t feel good. No one wants to know that they actually aren’t giving their all when they think they are. So pray for that. Pray for God to move and break down the walls (gentle) and that He reveals himself to me in a way that I have not seen him yet. Thank you!

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Loves Calling International, Inc.
11953 Ellison Wilson Road
North Palm Beach, FL 33408
Phone: (970) 270-0314
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