Serving those who are responding to God’s call to love.

Stranded

I have been here for about 2 months now and some days are better than others. I have been struggling with feeling stranded here for a while now. Nothing is close to the base. If I want to get to Walmart in Lindale, it’s a good 20 minute drive, and if I want to go into Tyler which is more of the city, it’s a good 50 minute drive. I didn’t bring my car and there are no taxis here, so I have to depend on others which is hard. On base, the two things to do are swim in the lake or walk the loop. Swimming in the lake is not my cup of tea and I have walked the loop so many times that I wish I could find different walkways to mix it up a bit. It really sucks because when I look back at Mexico, I get tears. I never felt this way in Mexico. Don’t get me wrong, I did struggle in Mexico but for other reasons. There was always something to do at the Mazatlan base. I had the soccer and hospital ministry that I went to every Thursday to spread the love of God. I was able to walk into town or grab a fun taxi to the beach or smoothie shop. But here, it’s completely different. There are no opportunities like the ones I had in Mazatlan. Some days it honestly feels like God sent me here and then left me here. I knew going into this that I couldn’t allow myself to compare the two different bases, but it’s so hard. I was so spoiled at Mazatlan. The whole dynamic and atmosphere was different. Being here has made me miss Mazatlan more than I thought it would. I even miss the food! At the moment, I feel like if it weren’t for my Outreach location, I would just come back after the Lecture Phase. I’m scared of the feeling that I won’t look back on these 3 months in Texas and say, “Wow I miss those days!”.

As I was crying and venting to a certain person, they reminded me that I was sent here by somebody for a purpose and that the purpose wasn’t the location or the food, but the learning experience and growth that I am getting out of it. And I can’t argue that. God didn’t bring me here for all the reasons that I don’t like it here. God brought me here so that I could express my faith better and be His tool to bring His Light to those in the dark. I am grateful of the chance I have had to learn this new material and gain a different perspective on Evangelism. I can already sense a change in myself and feel like my confidence growing in sharing the Gospel. I really am learning a lot and the curriculum is very engaging. I’m just struggling with feeling stranded here. I have 1 more month until Outreach so that will be my motivation to keep pushing on.

I also want to apologize for not keeping up to date with my blog. I have had no motivation to write because of my struggling but my parents reminded me that I need to be open with my struggles even if its not pretty.

Leave a Reply

ORGANIZATION

Loves Calling International, Inc.
11953 Ellison Wilson Road
North Palm Beach, FL 33408
Phone: (970) 270-0314
EIN: 47-4298542